I played basketball in eighth and ninth grade before deciding to quit. I rode the pine pretty hard, and I wasn't having any fun. I was much more successful at NBA Live '95, '96, and '97 than I was at actual basketball, mainly because I had low self-esteem when it came to sports. In spite of my suckiness at basketball and the shame I felt of sitting the bench, I've decided to share one of my most embarrassing moments with you, the You'll Have That readers.
It was in eighth grade when I first made the basketball team, and we were gearing up for team pictures. I was pretty excited because I was finally able to be part of the team. Well, they got us all together for the team photo, and then they lined us up to do individual shots. One of the guys on the team thought it would be cool to hang from the basketball rim for his picture. So, the coaches hoisted him to the rim so he could grab it, and, while dangling in mid-air, flashed his best smile to the camera. It was hilarious, and I wanted to do it, too.
The coaches hoisted me to the rim, and I wrapped my fingers around the metal. I wanted the picture to look natural, as though I had actually just rocked the rim with a backwards jam that raised the roof and got the fans off their seats. So, I raised my legs up a little bit and bent my knees to make it look like I was still being carried by momentum. I smiled, the camera flashed, and I jumped down from the basket with a smile of satisfaction on my face. That smile soon faded when one of my teammates came up to me and said, "Dude, your underwear was showing."
I laughed at first. I was new to the school so a lot of the guys liked to tease me and harrass me, so I figured that this was just another attempt to get under my skin. "Yeah, right," I said. "Nice try."
"Seriously, man," my teammate replied. "Everyone saw your BVDs. They were right out there." Sure enough, several of my teammates were gathered around snickering about what had just happened. I felt the blood rush to my face, and I started praying that these guys were just messing with me. The coolest individual basketball photo of all times was tainted by an unwanted "underwear shot"!
A month passed before we got our pictures back, and when they came in everyone was wanting to look at mine. Word had quickly spread in my school about my underwear making an unexpected cameo appearance in my pictures. When the pictures were handed to me, I snuck away to the locker rooms where no one would find me. I unwrapped the pictures, and hesitantly pulled the 5X7 photo out from the back of the package. There I was, hanging from the rim as though I had just thrown down a double handed backwards jam, my legs bent and my feet out as if to say, "Let's do this." And, sure enough, the gleaming bright whiteness of my size-32-waist-tighty-whitey Hanes underwear was peeking out of my left shorts leg. It almost looked like my underwear was smiling itself, as though it knew its picture was being taken.
I took the pictures home and stuffed them in the back of my closet. I didn't want my parents to see them, nor anyone else for that matter. People at school would always ask if my underwear was truly showing in the pictures, and I would quickly change the subject. The existence of my underwear picture had become a unique mystery, much like that of the sasquatch or loch ness monster.
When I was in high school I was skinny. Like, really skinny. I weighed anywhere between 155 and 160 pounds. I was a twerp. I never exercised. I ate all kinds of crap that I shouldn't. And I was still skinny. My metabolism was as voracious as a great white shark.
That is. . . until I met Tricia.
I don't know what happened. I don't know if it's because I ate regularly scheduled meals, or if it was because Tricia introduced me to the loaded baked potato. But the Wes-Man put on at least forty pounds in a matter of six hours. Because that's how weight gain works. It's never a gradual thing. One day you wake up, look in the mirror, and you realize that you are a sloppy fat pig as you wipe away cheese fry crust from your mouth. Life doesn't get better.
Well, folks, it came and it went. Christmas 2004 will now just be a memory rather than a day looked forward to. But it was a good day for the Molebash's, and, needless to say, we're rather tired after the flurry of events that took place today. I shall now transcribe them for you in what I like to call a "Christmas Retrospective: The Molebash's First Year (Of Marriage)".
The day started with Trish and I exchanging presents at around 9 A.M. The cats played with the wrapping paper, and we laughed at them because, hey, cats are stupid and funny. After presents we ate cinnamon rolls and relaxed before going to my Grandma's house.
At my Grandma's we ate ham and prime rib, and watched the American Chopper marathon on the Discovery Channel. My cousin's baby girl was very entertaining, and then my other cousin announced that he and his fiancee are going to be married next October. We all applauded, and then I ate some cheesecake.
Next came my Mom and Dad's house. Dad was watching the Miami Heat play the Los Angeles Lakers, and my sister played with her new MP3 player (in case you're wondering, the Heat won, baby!). Mom made some cheesesticks, pizza rolls, and filled a vegetable tray before we sat down to open more presents. After presents my mom, dad, sister, Trish, and I all visited and laughed at enjoyed much merriment.
High points of the day:
- Sharing my first Christmas with my brand new wife
- The cat walking on my face this morning
- A Christmas Story marathon all day long
Low points of the day:
- My mom didn't make buckeyes, which, in case you don't know, are the chron!
- Trish thinks she's getting a cold
Now, without further ado, I will list my entire "Holiday Haul of 2004":
- Ben Taylor Band E.P. This is James Taylor's and Carly Simon's son, and he sounds just like his dad. Really good stuff.
- The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. Ben Newsome, if you're reading this, I promise we will have an awesome literary discussion about this book as soon as I finish it.
- A green button-up shirt that I will look totally sexy in . . . or so says my wife.
- Brian Wilson Smile CD. This album was supposed to have been released in the 60's, but it was shelved. It's just now been released, and it's decent.
- Star Wars: KOTOR II. I've been able to squeeze a couple hours of gameplay in today, and I'm in love with it. As soon as I'm done with this blog entry I will be rocking this game.
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind DVD. This movie is wonderful. I highly recommend it, especially if you're a Charlie Kauffman fan.
- Seinfeld DVDs. Not only did my wife get me all three seasons, but she got me the Collector's Set with playing cards and salt and pepper shakers. Can't wait to watch these!
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume Oneand Three DVDs. I already own Volume Two, so this completes my collection. I can't explain why ATHF is funny . . . it just is.
- The Peanuts Collection Volume Two.
- Flight Volume One. I've only flipped through the pages, but it's already the most beautiful book I've ever seen.
- The Far Side 2005 Calendar. I love these.
- A Barnes and Noble gift card.
- A Champs Sports gift card.
- A new lamp for my art desk.
- A messenger bag from Timbuk2. I got it in red, white, and silver/gray to match the Viper website. I'm going to take it to an embroidery shop and have the YHT logo sewn on the front.
- John Mellencamp greatest hits CD. I can't remember the name of it, but it's got all his top jams, plus a DVD. He rocks faces off even though he's getting old.
- A scarf.
- Socks.
Whew. That's all I got. It was a good holiday for me, and I hope it was equally great (if not better) for you! Check out the forums and let us know what you received this year!
I hope everyone's having a great day. I've gotta go to my Grandma's and my parents tonight, so I've still got a full day ahead of me. I'll try to jump on tonight before I go to bed and list my entire haul. I've got some great stuff already, and I can't wait to dive into it!
Reel Big Fish has a song called "Why Do All Girls Think They're Fat?". It's not only humorous, but quite poignant (for a ska band, anyway). Now, my wife is absolutely gorgeous. I know everybody says that, but it's true. My wife is a hottie. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how I scored such a beautiful person. But, no matter how beautiful and shapely my wife may be, she still has those days where she thinks she's fat. I think it's a rule for girls to have these times of self-doubt and loathing, so I'm learning to deal with these stages in her personality and, remarkably, embrace them. What my wife thinks of herself is an opinion, and what I think of my wife is fact. That said, my wife is one of the most beautiful creatures to walk the earth.
Anyway, it's very cold in southern Ohio right now. We had an ice storm on Wednesday night and Thursday, and our little town is still under a level three snow emergency. I have the next six days off for the holiday, and Tricia called-in to work today, so we're hanging out in our pajamas until the evening's festivities begin.
Tonight we'll head over to my Mom and Dad's house to have dinner with both my grandmas, my grandfather, one of my aunts, and my sister. We'll exchange presents with the grandparents before going to church. The church I grew up in has a beautiful candlelight service on Christmas Eve; one at seven o'clock and one at eleven o'clock. We'll probably go to the late service even though I know Trish and I will be tired.
Tomorrow morning, Trish and I will exchange gifts before heading over to my Grandma's house for Christmas with the family. After that, we'll go back to my Mom and Dad's and have Christmas with my parents and sister. It'll be a busy day, but I'm really looking forward to it.
As I've gotten older, I've really not cared so much about "getting". Truthfully. I'm excited to give Trish her presents because I think I did a pretty good job this year. I'm at the age where if I want something I just go and get it. No asking mom and dad for money, no saving up allowance, etc. Needless to say, it makes it a lot harder on other people to buy for me at Christmas. I just tell them to get me gift certificates, then I can pick whatever I want without having to describe it to people (I like a lot of obscure music and movies which makes me a certified "closet nerd").
I hope everyone has a great Christmas. Hopefully you'll get everything you want, and enjoy the time with family. But I really hope that amid the wrapping paper, dirty dishes, and visits over coffee, you'll ponder the true meaning of the season and be blessed by it!
I think it's probably one of the top three most attractive thing about women: their smell. Sure, it's artificial smell (natural smell would probably knock you over, but in a bad way), but it's awesome!
My wife owns all kinds of crap from Bath and Body Works. Lotions, baths, hand creams, face creams, skin treatments . . . the whole she-bang. It all smells great! In the evening she takes a shower followed by the "post-shower". The post-shower consists of sitting on the couch in a t-shirt and pajama pants, and rubbing lotion on her arms and face while watching Entertainment Tonight or True Hollywood Story. It's an awesome process that I am proud to be an audience to.
Only five days until Christmas. I thought I'd show you my Christmas list of "Things I Really Freaking Want", and on Christmas we can compare the list to what I actually get. Here goes:
- The Seinfeld DVDs. That's right, both sets. Season one, two, and three to be watched whenever I want. No more relying on syndication to bring my favorite episodes.
- Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II. I want this game quite badly. KOTOR is, hands down, my favorite game of all times. It beats Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which is quite a feat according to my standards (which we know are higher than everyone else's).
- The Strong Bad DVD. I imagine it will be quite hilarious and awesome at the same time.
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force Season Three DVD. This show is great on a bajillion levels. But I'm not going to list all the levels, as I don't have time.
That's it, really. It's a small list, but I'm a simple guy. I don't need money or expensive things to define me . . . It'd be nice to have them, though . . .
Sorry for the delay in posting the strip today. Apparently, Viper is experiencing some host problems, which happens from time to time. The comic will be posted for your enjoyment as soon as possible. Thanks for your patience!
Tricia does this crap to me. There's a restaurant just around the corner from the apartment we live in. The place is called Tumbleweed, and they serve Tex-Mex style food. Very good stuff. One of the perks of eating there is the endless nachos and salsa they bring out while you wait for your food. We end up going through three or four bowls of salsa because Trish will only dip in the juice, never getting more than a small pepper or onion on her chip. In the meantime, there's a mound of tomatos and peppers and onions ("the goods") piling up on each other. When she does this I want to reach across the table, put her in a headlock, and give her the noogie of her life. . . The burning kind. But she's my wife and she could render something waaaay more painful than a noogie.
I'm going Christmas shopping with my mom and sister today. Should be interesting. The mall we're going to is kind of "posh", and they have a comic book store which is the nicest little comic shop I've ever been. Despite the "poshness" of the mall and the store, there's still plenty of nerds in there reading comic books. One of those nerds will be me, right before I go to Barnes and Noble and stare disappointedly at their lack of quality graphic novels and overabundance of TokyoPop manga.
I found this link on the Fanboy Radio message boards and I wanted to share it with you guys. It's an e-mail comic jam and it's pretty cool. I'm curious to see where it goes . . .
Here's some kickin' jams for you guys. Just right click and "save as" to begin rocking. Merry Christmas. Hope you enjoy . . .
My mom's birthday is today, so "Happy Birthday, Mom!" If you hadn't been born on this day 105-years-ago, I wouldn't be where I am today . . . seriously.
Everyone else, make sure to give your mom a hug and a kiss and tell her how much you love her. If she asks why she's getting all the attention, simply tell her that it's Wes' Mom's Birthday. It's a special day, people!
Last night I was introduced to one of the cool perks of working with a comic book company. I walked in the door from work around 11:00 PM, and on the floor was a package from Viper. I had been expecting my copy of the contract and possibly a t-shirt (Jessie Garza had asked me for my shirt size), but neither of these objects could explain the sheer weight of the box.
I took the box upstairs to open in my studio/office/closet after I kissed my wife goodnight. She woke up and wanted me to open it in front of her. It was like an early Christmas for both of us.
I discovered why the box was so heavy upon opening the package. Inside was a crap-ton of comic books. I also received a Daisy Kutter T-Shirt and a messenger bag to carry my crap-ton of comic books. Needless to say, I squeeled like a little girl. Since Tricia is a "non-nerd" she didn't quite understand my adulation, but she was happy for me nonetheless.
As you probably know, I stayed up way too late last night reading comic books. I'm very tired now as I prepare myself to draw more comics, but such is the life of someone in the comic biz.
I will now wait patiently for my company car . . .
The You'll Have That website is only two weeks old and I'm already getting some positive feedback from readers and my publishers. It's very humbling and I'm very thankful for all the nice comments in the forums. Heck, the forums have been rockin' the past few weeks! I never would have thought they'd be half as busy as they are! Keep posting messages and I'll do my best to reply to everyone! I'm an internet junkie, so I check on the forums a million times a day.
When Viper and I were discussing the website for You'll Have That, I told Jessie that I'd really like to have a blog. I enjoy comic sites like PvP and Bolt City that have personal blogs that let you know what's going on with the comic and the cartoonists. That's how I plan on using this blog.
I'm looking forward to having a lot of fun, and please keep posting in the forums. It lets me know what you guys think and keeps me on my toes!
