Condos, Death, and Family Values
My wife and I bought a condo and we moved into it last March. Actually, it was the very end of March, and we weren't really "settled in" until mid-April.
It's been a wonderful adjustment moving into a condo association after several years of living in an apartment complex behind a shopping mall. Things are much quieter living in a condo, mainly because most of the people who live here are really old and retired. The kind of people who wake up at 5 in the morning and are in bed by 7 or 8 in the evening. When Trish and I lived in an apartment, our neighbor was a guitarist in a local heavy-metal band and his home was the site of many "post-gig" parties. Not only was it loud, but my wife was often upset to find her parking spot taken by one of the many party-goers celebrating next door. So moving into the condo was a wonderful choice for us. We can enjoy many of the benefits of apartment living (no mowing, no water bills, etc.), we're finally building equity, and our neighbors are too old and crusty to rock out in heavy-metal bands.
Across the street from us lives the Kessler family. Unlike most of the people that live around here, they're a young family. The Kesslers are one of those families that, when you look at them, you say to yourself, "I want a family just like that." Mr. Kessler was a principal at a local Catholic elementary school, and his wife is a stay-at-home mom. They have two daughters - 7- and 4-years-old, and they're cute as buttons.
This past summer was a lot of fun because Mr. and Mrs. Kessler would often be seen outside with their kids playing baseball, riding bikes, and taking walks. They hung out at the pool, and Mrs. Kessler headed up the condo association's "Entertainment Committee". You can tell this family loves each other and they are a prominent feature to our little community.
Yesterday morning, Mr. Kessler died unexpectedly at his home. He was 35.
I didn't know the Kesslers, and I never really talked to them other than the occassional, "How ya doin'?" when Trish and I walked past them during one of our evening walks. But Mr. Kessler's death is something that has hit Trish and I both really hard.
We live in a society that doesn't really advocate family values anymore. If someone tries to make a stand for traditional family values, they are made to look like ignorant sexists who are stuck in the 1950s.
But here we had a family that, for all intents and purposes, fit the bill of a "traditional family". Mr. Kessler went to work as a school principal. Mrs. Kessler stayed at home and took care of the house and the kids. And they were happy! Gosh dang it, they were happy! Those little girls were funny as heck to watch when they were playing in the pool or at the playground! Mr. Kessler would take those girls on walks around the neighborhood - the girls dressed in fancy hats, boas, and plastic jewelry overtop jean jackets and purple sweatpants. It was the kind of thing you'd see on the front of a Hallmark card.
Losing a family member sucks for everyone, but I feel the worst for the kids. Mrs. Kessler is a woman and she's resilient. In time, she'll be able to move on. But it'll take longer for the girls. Girls need their daddies. Girls need daddies to show them what kind of men they should look for when they start dating and, eventually, start a family. And Mr. Kessler was a fine example of the kind of man every girl should be looking for.
I hugged my wife extra hard today and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I told her I loved her and I made sure to thank her for making dinner. It's stuff I should be doing everyday, but, like most "easy" stuff, it gets neglected. If God decides to take me early in my life, I hope I can leave half as much of a legacy as Mr. Kessler.
- Wes
It's been a wonderful adjustment moving into a condo association after several years of living in an apartment complex behind a shopping mall. Things are much quieter living in a condo, mainly because most of the people who live here are really old and retired. The kind of people who wake up at 5 in the morning and are in bed by 7 or 8 in the evening. When Trish and I lived in an apartment, our neighbor was a guitarist in a local heavy-metal band and his home was the site of many "post-gig" parties. Not only was it loud, but my wife was often upset to find her parking spot taken by one of the many party-goers celebrating next door. So moving into the condo was a wonderful choice for us. We can enjoy many of the benefits of apartment living (no mowing, no water bills, etc.), we're finally building equity, and our neighbors are too old and crusty to rock out in heavy-metal bands.
Across the street from us lives the Kessler family. Unlike most of the people that live around here, they're a young family. The Kesslers are one of those families that, when you look at them, you say to yourself, "I want a family just like that." Mr. Kessler was a principal at a local Catholic elementary school, and his wife is a stay-at-home mom. They have two daughters - 7- and 4-years-old, and they're cute as buttons.
This past summer was a lot of fun because Mr. and Mrs. Kessler would often be seen outside with their kids playing baseball, riding bikes, and taking walks. They hung out at the pool, and Mrs. Kessler headed up the condo association's "Entertainment Committee". You can tell this family loves each other and they are a prominent feature to our little community.
Yesterday morning, Mr. Kessler died unexpectedly at his home. He was 35.
I didn't know the Kesslers, and I never really talked to them other than the occassional, "How ya doin'?" when Trish and I walked past them during one of our evening walks. But Mr. Kessler's death is something that has hit Trish and I both really hard.
We live in a society that doesn't really advocate family values anymore. If someone tries to make a stand for traditional family values, they are made to look like ignorant sexists who are stuck in the 1950s.
But here we had a family that, for all intents and purposes, fit the bill of a "traditional family". Mr. Kessler went to work as a school principal. Mrs. Kessler stayed at home and took care of the house and the kids. And they were happy! Gosh dang it, they were happy! Those little girls were funny as heck to watch when they were playing in the pool or at the playground! Mr. Kessler would take those girls on walks around the neighborhood - the girls dressed in fancy hats, boas, and plastic jewelry overtop jean jackets and purple sweatpants. It was the kind of thing you'd see on the front of a Hallmark card.
Losing a family member sucks for everyone, but I feel the worst for the kids. Mrs. Kessler is a woman and she's resilient. In time, she'll be able to move on. But it'll take longer for the girls. Girls need their daddies. Girls need daddies to show them what kind of men they should look for when they start dating and, eventually, start a family. And Mr. Kessler was a fine example of the kind of man every girl should be looking for.
I hugged my wife extra hard today and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I told her I loved her and I made sure to thank her for making dinner. It's stuff I should be doing everyday, but, like most "easy" stuff, it gets neglected. If God decides to take me early in my life, I hope I can leave half as much of a legacy as Mr. Kessler.
- Wes
Labels: Randomness
posted by Wes at 8:10 PM
8 Comments:
I totally agree with you, Wes. You never really understand what you have until its gone. Yesterday, me, and all my fellow LDS members lost the man who was our President, our Prophet, our Mento, our Friend. . . It really is amazing the impact just one person can have on so many people.
1:13 AMHere's to Mr. Kessler, President Hinckley, and everyone else who has left footprints behind.
Wes, this post regarding Ken Kessler was very moving and thoughtful. I didn't know the man, the first I heard of him was a couple of days ago on the Chillicothe message board, but based on all I've read, he had an impact on many in the community.
10:59 AMI hope you don't mind, but I found your post so moving and thought provoking that I posted a link to it at the Chilli message board.
Let this tragedy be a reminder to everyone, never take for granted that which you have. Enjoy your life. Cherish your loved ones.
Well said Wes, anyone who visits your page to simply read the strip and skips your posts is missing at least 30% of who you are.
Wes-- thank you for saying such wonderful (true) things about the Kesslers. I knew Ken and Chrissy from Flaget, and their youngest daughter is only a few months older than mine, so we traveled in the same circles. They were a wonderful American family. I think the highest form of praise anyone can be given in this life is to say they truly knew how to love...and Ken did. He loved Chrissy and he loved the girls. It was just evident by looking at them together.
12:03 PMI completely agree with HJ...people really need to take the time to read your posts as well as the comics. I really enjoy both and I'm extremely proud that you're from Chillicothe. You make the rest of us look good! LOL
Keep up the good work! We're rooting for a 3rd book and a pick-up with pay someplace for you!
Thanks for the kind words, guys. It's very humbling. I feel kinda guilty about it, actually.
8:07 PM- Wes
They sounded such a wonderful family, it's such a terrible shame that he died.
12:16 PMI didn't know the family or even know of them, I'm from England so we don't hear much about american catholic school principles. The age he died and the story you told of him made me sad nonetheless especially when i realised I don't tell my family and friends I love them as much as I should.
May he rest in peace.
"Girls need daddies to show them what kind of men they should look for when they start dating and, eventually, start a family."
3:11 PMYikes.
I'm going to get bashed -- 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing', they'll say -- but your post horrified me. I enjoy your comic strip, but... maybe I should be glad I don't normally read your posts. Obviously nothing I can say will convince you or any of the other people who've posted that what you wrote is profoundly, utterly creepy -- but I thought I'd stick in this note of dissent in the general sea of 'oh your post was so thought-provoking'. (My sympathies to the bereaved family, however.)
Perhaps I should've said, "fathers SET THE EXAMPLE for the kind of men their daughters should look to marry." I don't know how you could disagree with that. But thank you for your comments anyway. :)
3:48 PM- Wes
Wes, the thing about "family values" is that they're not about every kind of family. You're never going to find someone who's going to say that a mom and dad can't raise their kid but that's not the reality for every family. It's usually code for conservatives to say that gay dads, lesbian moms, and single parents are incapable of raising their kids as well as a married straight couple. They don't have "family values" because they lack the traditional structure, which offends me as the product of a family with a single mom.
10:50 AMWhat happened to the Kessler family is a tragedy and they have my condolences. But it's the loss of Mr. Kessler as father, husband, and person that should be mourned, not the loss of a "traditional" family.
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