This comic is dedicated to Dr. Jones who inspired me to pursue my dreams and led to my career as a professor in Adventure Science.

Boy, do I hate talking on the phone. It sure is an awkward way to communicate. "OH HEY. LET'S TALK WHEN I CAN'T SEE YOU AND I AM NOT ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION BUT I AM A.D.D. AND NEED ANOTHER THING SPARKING MY BRAIN." I space off on the phone, but even worse than talking on a phone is talking on a landline. If anyone wants to talk to me they will call my cell phone, so why do I have to answer my landline when it's never for me? What I hate most about phones though is answering the landline when I know it's not for me and taking a message for someone else. That's why I have an answering machine. I was not built for taking messages, it was. Do not expect me to remember you called. Maybe if you called my cell phone then you might have a shot.

When I was a wee little fellow I would climb my fair share of trees. I would go to the very top and look across my kingdom. Sometimes the tree would be very agreeable. Other times, not so much. Sometimes they would do anything they could to get me out. Summon gusts of wind, splinters, bird attacks. Good thing I am invincible.

My roommate says that if you press him in the belly button he can feel it in his penis. He's gross. I think he secretly just wants people to touch his penis. He's gross.

Blah blah frickin blah. My head is a planet. Beat that.

"Smooch smooch smooch," goes the little fishy. He wants to make out. He wants to nibble on your ear and give you a hickey. You know you want it too. Just give into the little fishy. "Smooch smooch smooch."

It has been raining all day. I do not mind rain if it's not cold. I like rain in the summer when it's super hot and it cools me down a bit. I do not, however, like when people pour acid on me. That is what today's comic is about.