Nothing says 'authority' like a good ol' fashioned mustache. There are all kinds of mustaches. There's the fu manchu mustache, the walrus mustache, the toothbrush or "Chaplin" mustache, and my personal favorite, the handlebar mustache. So if you want to grow big and strong and have people listen to you, I recommend drinking your sawdust smoothies so you can grow up to have a big ol' mustache just like our forefathers.