I bet being a monster would be a great job. It would be fairly low stress because you could get all your built up anxiety out on the kid. You could experiment with different ways to scare the kid. You could just old fashioned growl or explain the government to him. Something like that. There are two problems about being a child's monster though. The kid will eventually grow up and will defeat you with logic and the realities of the world that tell him you aren't there. And secondly, you are coming out of the closet every night.

It's getting cold outside. Maybe you should start wearing some clothes. Can I recommend a shirt?